Friday, May 29, 2026

Pour Decisions (Wine Jokes)

 Friday funnies time. Might be some dad jokes in there.

 


How come my doctor chastises me for not drinking eight glasses of water a day, but gets critical when I have nine-and-a-half glasses of wine in a day. Wine is 85% water. 85% of 9.5 = 8. The math checks out.

Our home has an open-door policy. You show up with wine and we'll open the door. 

The grape didn't say much when it was crushed. It just let out a little wine.
Okay, nerds, I know it's not wine yet. Don't ruin my joke.

How do English teachers like their wine? Well red.

I used to think drinking wine was bad for me. So I gave up thinking.

My doctor told me four glasses of wine a day was too much. What a PITA. Now I have to find a new doctor.

I'm a positive person. I'm a wine-yes! Not a wino.

Spilled wine on the carpet, but luckily it was white. That happened for a riesling.  

I used to do yoga to relieve stress. Then I found out I could drink wine in yoga pants and get the same effect. 

In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat, you need it. 
This is not a joke, Napoleon actually said that.


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