What kind of wine with .....?

You never know when one of these weird combinations may come up so as a public service here's what to serve with these, um, foods.


It's not just for breakfast anymore


Chocolate-covered Bacon
This was at the county fair this year.   No, I didn't try it--couldn't even get the kids to try.   Well, sparkling with goes with salty food and the acids in a sparkler are probably good at cutting through grease so we've got the bacon part figured out.  Chocolate is almost always good with a young Cabernet, but would probably suck with bacon.  Off-dry sparkling wines, however, are great with chocolate.  See, bubbles don't have to be just for Valentine's Day.

Squirrel
I assume there are still people in the South that eat squirrel.  It also seems to be trendy in England for some reason. I don't know what the heck squirrels taste like and I really don't care if I ever find out, but I'm guessing it has a wild gamey flavor.   I'm going with a full-bodied red like a Syrah.   They grow a lot of Syrah in Australia and they seem crazy enough to eat things like squirrels.

Buffalo Burgers
Merlot is a good choice. I think that's what the Indians drank.

Vegemite
This is a nasty, salty yeast paste that Australians use to make sandwiches. Think "stale beer."  I guess they don't get peanut butter down there. I'm going with a robust red similar to what you've have with a stinky French cheese.

Garlic Ice Cream
There's an annual garlic festival in Gilroy, CA (the garlic capital) where they sell this creation.  I believe it needs a somewhat sweet rosé. 

Snickerdoodle Cookies
This is a cinnamon sugar cookie that really needs a glass of milk, but if you insist on wine then go with a late harvest Gewurztraminer.

Jelly Beans
Muscat.   At least something sweet and syrupy.  Think "Log Cabin syrup with alcohol."