How to become a wine connoisseur

You have to know people.

That is, acquaintances that are wine "experts."  Everywhere you see the word "expert" here you will see the quote marks around it denoting the fact that you and I don't know any real wine "experts," just people that think they are or at least you think they are.

You should subscribe to wine magazines because those writers drink a lot of wine and must be "experts."

Drink a lot of wine yourself. Don't worry about over-consumption because as the saying goes, "It's not alcoholism if I only drink 92 point wines." Worry about your wallet instead.

Taste wine at wineries, retail wine shops, and wine bars. You definitely won't have an alcohol problem if you're only tasting. Worry about your wallet though as you will be tempted to buy some $50 bottles.

See, he's not enjoying it
He must be a connoisseur!

Go to a wine auction, but leave your wallet at home. This is almost as bad as attending a car auction as you could wind up spending as much on that old French wine as you would on a '70 Chevelle.

Take notes when you taste. You'll look like an "expert."

Buy some Riedel wine glasses--at least four different styles. Don't be caught drinking Sauvignon Blanc out of a Pinot glass!

Start a wine cellar and put your inventory on Cellar Tracker so others can see what you have. I believe a minimum of 500 bottles is required to reach "expert" class.

Drink French wine because the word "connoisseur" is a French word meaning "you know something." No, that doesn't sound like expertise, but it always sounds better in French!