Some of the questions asked of park rangers were:
- Grand Canyon: Is the mule ride air-conditioned?
- Mesa Verde: Why did the Indians build the ruins so close to the highway?
- Carlsbad Caverns (my favorite): How much of the cave is underground?
I have heard these questions asked or statements made in a tasting room. The answers given are the smart-ass replies that went through my head.
- Do you have a bathroom? Personally, I just pee on that oak tree you passed on the way in. Admittedly, this works better for men.
- Can I get a cup of coffee? Of course, every winery has a Starbucks inside.
- What do you have for my kids? We have a free puppy and a can of Red Bull for them.
- What's your favorite wine? Whichever one you want to buy automatically becomes my favorite!
- I don't drink red wine, I'm allergic to sulfites. Well, then that's not the problem because you'd be allergic to a lot more things including white wine, salad bars, raisins, etc. Maybe the tannins or histamines bother you.
- (Phone caller) How do I get to your winery? (Me) Where are you? (Caller) I don't know. (Me) Well, make a left then.
- What time is your one o'clock tour? At 1:30, of course. That will give you plenty of time for a cup of coffee and to pee on the tree.
- We make wine in North Dakota, too! Okay, fine.
Concerning the wine itself there are no stupid questions. You are there to learn. Ask away!