Funny Questions Asked in a Tasting Room

I was reading something called The Most Stupid Questions Asked of National Park Rangers. It got me to thinking about some of the questions asked in winery tasting rooms.

Some of the questions asked of park rangers were:

• Grand Canyon: Is the mule ride air-conditioned?
• Mesa Verde: Why did the Indians build the ruins so close to the highway?
• Carlsbad Caverns (my favorite): How much of the cave is underground?

I have heard these questions asked or statements made in a tasting room. The answers given are the smart-ass replies that went through my head.

• Do you have a bathroom?  Personally, I just pee on that oak tree you passed on the way in. Admittedly, this works better for men.
• Can I get a cup of coffee?  Of course, every winery has a Starbucks inside.
• What do you have for my kids? We have a free puppy and a can of Red Bull for them.
• What's your favorite wine? Whichever one you want to buy automatically becomes my favorite!
• I don't drink red wine, I'm allergic to sulfites. Well, then that's not the problem because you'd be allergic to a lot more things including white wine, salad bars, raisins, etc. Maybe the tannins or histamines bother you.
• (Phone caller) How do I get to your winery? (Me) Where are you? (Caller) I don't know. (Me) Well, make a left then.
• What time is your one o'clock tour? At 1:30, of course. That will give you plenty of time for a cup of coffee and to pee on the tree.
• We make wine in North Dakota, too!  Okay, fine.

Concerning the wine itself there are no stupid questions. You are there to learn.  Ask away!