A Brief History of Wine

A Georgian (no, not from that Georgia, but the one next to Turkey) was a lazy farmer. He let his fruit rot. It fermented.

Two Sumerians got drunk and invented algebra. The roots of every 8th grader's hatred can be traced back to that lazy farmer.

The Romans got drunk, the Goths came rolling in, and we all know what happened next. The Dark Ages, when they drank mead, for crying out loud.

The French, who like stealing ideas from others, took over wine and pretended they invented the whole thing.

Then California butted in.

A mid-grade movie, Sideways, made people hate merlot and love pinot noir. People are so easy, especially when they're drinking.