Wine (and Alcohol) Jokes

Friday laugh time

1920: Alcohol becomes illegal under Prohibition
2020: Alcohol considered an essential business during Pandemic

That which doesn't kill you ...
Gets you shitfaced (the official motto of tequila)

Ever wonder why the fair skinned Irish don't get sunburned?
Pubs, the official sunblock of Ireland.

No alcohol served on airlines now?
No problem, I have an emotional support bar cart.

When someone asks why I'm in such a good mood with all the world's problems.
It's called day drinking.

When someone says, "I don't need alcohol to have fun."
I'm thinking, "Woohoo, a designated driver!"

"Sorry, buddy, I'd offer you a beer, but I've only got twelve left."

Cop, "Are you drinking and driving?"
Me, "No, I'm only drinking at red lights and stop signs."

I stopped recycling after the garbage man left an AA flyer at the door.

I don't always drink tequila, but when I do I wake up in the morning wondering where the hell I left my pants.