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Friday, July 15, 2022

Wine Dorks

In honor of National Be a Dork Day, July 15th, let's take a look at wine dorks.

How to spot a wine dork:

  • They'll hold a bottle of wine up to a light as though they're going to see something profound. I mean, it's going to look like wine, right?
  • It's bad enough to be told you have to hold a wine glass by the stem, but a wine dork will hold it by the base because, well, that's even farther from the bowl where all that delicate wine resides.
  • If you're drinking Washington State cabernet they'll mention a Napa cab they recently had. If you're drinking Napa, they'll talk about Bordeaux. If you've got Bordeaux, they'll be raving on a Burgundy. You just can't win.
  • The first sip of a wine, whether at a restaurant or a memorial service, will be swizzled through their teeth and gargled before swallowing. 
  • Whatever your cellar temperature, theirs will be colder.

Read the Cork Dork wine blog.

Drink what a wine dork drinks:

  • European Riesling, but not from Germany. Maybe Hungarian or Moldavian. 
  • Nebbiolo, Albarino, Vermentino, weird Beaujolais that you can't pronounce.
  • What they won't be caught with is an American Chardonnay or Merlot.
     

How are wine dorks different from geeks or snobs? I dunno.
😁

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