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Wednesday, March 6, 2013

What your wine choice says about you

Someone had the time and money to study what your wine choices mean and came up with this:

Red wine drinkers - Wealthier and well-educated, ambitious.
White wine drinker - The casual wine drinker. They are content with their lot in life (not so ambitious, I guess).
Rosé wine drinker - Social types--they're apparently either at parties or on Facebook.

But this needs further work to break it down. After all, you are what you drink:

Pinot Grigio drinker
A trend follower. "Chardonnay is sooo over." Most don't realize it's the same as Pinot Gris and that it's not pronounced "griss."
Tempranillo
A trendsetter. Maybe. See "Syrah" below.
Pinot Noir
Trendy, a fanboy of the movie Sideways. "Everybody" who knows wine is drinking it so you should too.
Syrah
Thought they were a trendsetter ten years ago, but realized they were wrong. They still drink it in the hope they will be right someday.
Zinfandel
Doesn't give a damn about trends, just wants the alcohol.
Rhone blends
Early adopter
GSM
An early adopter who wants to talk in code. They also like comic books and software.
Chardonnay
Still unhappy you can't just order a "chablis" in a restaurant and get a slightly sweet, fruity white wine for five bucks.
Chenin Blanc
Huh? The '70s are over, man.
Sparkling wine aka Champagne
A blonde or wanna-be blonde that wants every day to be a party.
Sauvignon Blanc
Knows they are not supposed to drink Chardonnay any more, won't jump on the Pinot Gris bandwagon, so they're stuck with Sauv Blanc because they can't pronounce Viognier.
Merlot
The '90s are over, dude. Time to step up to a Cab.
Cabernet Sauvignon
Sees himself as a manly man (unless he's a girl).
Petite Sirah
Is a manly man. Doesn't give a damn about the color of their teeth. May have sucked on gym socks when they were teething as a baby.
Reisling
Sorry, grandma, there just aren't that many sweet wines available any more.
Gewurztraminer
Loves those sweet white wines like Riesling, but is more adventurous and has taken on the task of trying to pronounce "gah-wurts-trah-meener," "geh-verz-trammin-er," whatever.
Muscat
You are a grandma OR you are a wanna-be hip, young urbanite. At least you have something in common with your grandparents now.

"I'm all dressed up and out in public
so I can't be seen with a beer."
Image from news.au.com