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Friday, April 3, 2015

Red Wine vs. White Wine Drinkers

We have some who say they drink only red wine. We have white wine only drinkers. And we have bi (those that will drink anything put in front of them especially if someone else is buying). There are those who will occasionally cross over and try a Merlot or a Chardonnay to be sure they still don't like the other side (bi-curious).

Lets see what the differences are between white and red wine drinkers (as we all need to be pigeon-holed).
  • Red wine drinkers are a little scruffy especially if we're talking about Zinfandel and Petite Sirah. Women who drink those buttery Chardonnays wear a lot of makeup. Men who drink white are a little too well-groomed and might be a mama's boy.
  • Red wine drinkers read novels. White wine drinkers read the gossip mags or possibly even Newsweek.
  • If you see a women drinking white wine by herself she's looking to start something with someone. If she's drinking red she's recently divorced or on a business trip and in either case is not in the mood.
  • The white wine drinkers favorite subject in school was English. Red wine drinkers liked science and math.
  • White wine drinkers are the hit of the party. Red wine drinkers are a bit introspective. That is, they may be thinking too much about the wine instead of noticing the blonde getting drunk on Chardonnay.
  • It's a scientific fact that women who drink white wear shorter skirts than red wine drinking females.
  • Men who drink white wine wear more expensive, dressy clothing. Men who drink red are in jeans and maybe even cowboy boots. You've never seen a guy in an LL Bean flannel shirt drinking Pinot Gris and you never will.
  • Sauvignon Blanc drinkers like a warm summer day on the patio. Cabernet drinkers want to curl up by the fire.
  • White wine drinkers make a statement on the road by driving a Prius. Red wine drinkers drive a big SUV or anything else that doesn't get good mileage.
  • Rosé drinkers are early adopters or maybe just want to be different. "Hey, look at me!"

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those that believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.