Trust me. It'll all come true.
"Binge-drinking is replaced by "high-intensity" drinking. At Florida State and Chico State, it's still known as getting shit-faced.
Kendall Jackson becomes the largest vineyard owner in England.
FYI: The word "wine" comes from the Latin vinum, meaning getting shit-faced.
Millennials buy up all of Napa's Cabernet, except for Silver Oak, leaving that for their parents.
The most romantic wine quote ever will be uttered by Samuel L. Jackson on Valentine's Day 2025. It'll start with something like, "I've had enough of this mother f##king Barefoot Pinot Gris in this mother f##king house."
Almost every American will learn how to pronounce Gewurztraminer. The percentage will actually be higher than the literacy rate, except in Louisiana, where both will hover about 30%.
No wine is consumed in China during the entire year. Australia pulls out most of their grape vines and plants hops. Took them awhile to figure out what was actually needed in their own country.
The following words will be banned from wine descriptions by the U.S. Sommelier Association: Sleek, polished, expressive, mesmerizing, and brooding. Wet dog is okay, naming a specific breed is not, e.g. wet Labrador.
In Napa, the 2025 harvest will be the best anyone has ever seen.
The Wine Advocate will give out its first 101 points to a wine from Lodi, leading to a boycott by Napa, secretly funded by the Wine Enthusiast, who is pissed they weren't the first to think of giving out "bonus points."
By the end of the year, the hottest new wine glass with be these Mason jars:
.Remember, you heard it here first. Wine Spectator ain't got nuthin' on me!
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