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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Why Wine Geeks Make Bad Lovers

If you decide to date a wine geek
here's what you're in for

  • They rate your performance using the hundred point scale.
  • Their ability to rate performance is never taken into question.
  • Just because you previously had three mid-90s scores, but you last one was an 86, you are no longer relevant.
  • If they are a CA wine lover then they expect you to be lush, juicy and full-bodied. If they are a French wine lover they want you lean and to be at your peak in 20 years.
  • They've decided blondes from Sonoma and redheads from Napa are the best. So if you are a brunette from Amador forget it.  At one time blondes from Napa were "in," but that's so 1990s.
  • Geeks look for a dry sense of humor, if you're a little bit sweet forget it.
  • The last time you got in an argument they said you were "astringent" and you still don't know how to take that.
  • They have a crush on any wine maker of the opposite sex (sometimes the same sex) and would immediately leave you to spend the weekend with one.
  • Their idea of a good joke is, "Yo' mamma's so fat she has her own appellation!"