Norton Safeweb

Thursday, June 25, 2015

What your favorite wine says about you

Pretty much everybody has a favorite variety as their go-to wine. Chardonnay is the number one selling wine in the country; Cabernet Sauvignon is number two, and it's been this way for a long time. Let's find out what your favorite wine says about you.

It's time to stereotype wine drinkers!

Sauvignon Blanc
You've always wanted to visit New Zealand--or anywhere actually, but you just don't have time what with the kids' soccer and all. When it's hot there's nothing like a tumbler of Sauv Blanc with an ice cube. It's easy to find Sauv Blanc in screw cap bottles when you don't have time to hunt down the cork screw.

Chardonnay
A female looking for a (younger) man or a man looking for ...?

Pinot Gris
You don't actually like wine or like spending money on wine. You've had Pinot Gris over ice and you've had it warm. You don't care. You don't want to have to think about the wine as that gets in the way of concentrating on gossiping and checking out the guys. Yes, Pinot Gris is a chick wine. If you're a guy and drinking Pinot Gris I'm not sure what to think.

Riesling
Dry wine is yucky and you can drink sweet Riesling without being looked down on like when you drank Moscato. Besides, Moscato is for the under-25 crowd. Riesling is of German origin so it's very serious.

Sparkling Wine
You need to celebrate and you've learned sparkling wine isn't just for New Years Eve any more. It's for Friday nights, Sunday brunch, Monday breakfast, all day Saturday...

Pinot Noir
You have discovered the Holy Grail of wine and you're going to preach to everyone you know to put down the Cabernet and jump on the Next Big Thing. You've also discovered Burgundies are annoyingly expensive and often bad and California Pinot is often simple, alcoholic and expensive, but you're not going to mention this to anybody.

Malbec
Makes you think of the romantic life style of an Argentine gaucho. When no one is around you put on you poncho when drinking Malbec. Tonight's dinner? Steak, just like every other meal. Oh yeah,  Malbec is easy to pronounce as it's actually phonetic, not like some of those others with German or French names.

Cabernet Sauvignon
You're old, probably Republican, you've always drank Cab, and nobody's gonna change your mind now, dad gum it. Where did you leave the keys to the Buick?

Syrah
You don't want to be like everybody else therefore you drink expensive, uninteresting wine. So there.

Zinfandel
You aren't like everybody else. Besides you're in it for the alcohol. You eat pizza (or leftover pizza) six times per week.

Petite Sirah
You are that rare breed of skilled tradesman who drinks wine. PS isn't for girly men and definitely not for girly girls.