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Friday, January 29, 2016

You Might Have a Drinking Problem If ...

How do you know if you might like wine just a little too much? There are signs to look for and I'm here to tell you what they are. Go ahead, ask me how I know.

 Signs you might be drinking too much wine
  • You have a reserved parking space at BevMo.
  • The only job you can hold is U.S. Congressman.
  • You lost an argument with your dog.
  • Working 40 hours a week is interfering with getting to happy hour on time.
  • You can't find your car because they moved the parking lot while you were at the wine bar.
  • Your doctor told you to cut back for health reasons so you're using less salt.
  • The cashier at BevMo knows you by name.
  • Your dog's name is Merlot. The cat is Chardonnay.
  • When you go to someone's house you bring your own bottle of wine--and another one to share.
  • You have an end table in your living room made from wine bottle corks you've collected.
  • The trash company has put a surcharge on your bill for the excess weight of your recycled wine bottles.
  • You had wine and cheese for breakfast this morning.
  • When you didn't show up at the wine bar near your office last Thursday at noon the owner called your boss to be sure you were okay.
  • You've had conversations with friends about your drinking habits while sharing a bottle of Cabernet. Actually, it was two bottles.
  • Five glasses of wine has the same calories as dinner. Screw dinner!
  • You used to have friends who didn't drink wine, but you got rid of them because they were boring.
  • Your dentist looks at your teeth and says, "We'll need the rough grit sandpaper and a lot of bleach."
  • You find a wine glass in your car's glove box -- it's half full.
  • Your first born goes by Mel--short for Malbec.