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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

All I Want for Christmas ...

Dear Santa,

Since I didn't get that six inch telescope when I was eight you owe me. Here's what I want this year. And it's not really even being selfish as most of this is as a public service for everyone to enjoy.

  • Give me screw caps. If you give this then I won't ask for a $100 cork puller next year. Think about that.
  • Give me a wine-rating point system based on common sense. Who decided 95 points was outstanding, but 87 was swill? What happened to 75 points being average and 60 failing?
  • Give me some wine glasses that aren't top heavy. No four inch stems that are just begging to be knocked over. A two inch stem is fine or stemless. Stemless means you're holding the bowl and changing the wine's temp, you say? Then just give me some Mason Jars.
  • Give me tasting fees that cover the cost of the wine and that's all. Tasting rooms were never meant to be a profit center; selling wine is where your profit is. Or just give lumps of coal to the winery owners in Napa.
  • Give me wine labels that accurately reflect the level of alcohol, not this plus-or-minus 1.5% stuff. There's a big diff between 14% and 15% alcohol wines.
  • And give us all lots of excellent $15 wine. God bless Pedroncelli!