So I'm here to learn yah :)
With the winery staff:
- The tasting rooms staff are there to educate and sell. They didn't set the closing time, the tasting fee cost, or what bottles are open on the day you show up.
- Some places have pretty high wine prices and probably tasting fees, too. If you don't like the cost you may ask if there's another option (maybe buy a glass of wine) or you can say, "No thank you" and leave.
- Showing up before opening time means they aren't prepared to serve you yet. Showing up after closing time means they are ready to go home.
If anything happened that bothered you rather than yelling at the staff ask for the business card of the manager or owner and drop them an email or phone them later. Hopefully, they will thank you for your input.
At the bar:
- If the bar is full and someone else wants in squeeze over and give them a spot! If there's four of you at the bar, for instance, have two stand at the bar and two behind. You can still get your glass of wine and get it refilled.
- Speaking of being at the bar remember you are not at home. Don't spread all your belongings, don't bring out your lunch, don't set your child or dog on the bar.
- Speaking of children and dogs, they can't run around unsupervised. Keep them with you and under control.
- Don't feel bad if you don't want to finish a wine sample! Feel free to dump out the rest of a taste. It can be either because you don't like it or because you are trying to control the amount of alcohol you ingest. It doesn't bother the pourer. They may ask why you dumped it just to see if you thought something was wrong. You can be honest -- you don't have to like every wine you try.